Are you listening to the multi-trillion dollar diet industry that’s rooted in self-control? Are you
feeling tired or just fed up with trying to fit into diet culture’s messages around what bodies
“should” look like—especially during the summertime? Wouldn’t you rather listen and learn the non-diet mentality that is rooted in self-compassion? This blog post is written to encourage
you, the reader, to fill your life with compassion and awareness of your intuition.
In our society, we are trained to be competitive, better, and to aim for above-average in order
to be deemed “successful”. We are always told the message that higher self-esteem is better.
What happens when we don’t meet our ideal standards and expectations? What happens
when we oppress or put down other body types?
Some bitter facts about dieting:
• Research shows that the number one thing women invest in is their self-esteem on their
• On average, body image concerns for girls start in grade 3.
• 80% of 10 year old girls have already been on a diet.
• 33–35% of 6–8 year old boys indicate their ideal body is thinner than their current body.
• The measurements of the male action figures young boys play with exceed even those of the
biggest bodybuilders. Talk about unrealistic.
Diet mentality and weight stigma. People in larger bodies often experience hurtful, shaming
messages around their body and have higher chronic stress. Research shows that internalized
weight stigma from our culture, rather than weight itself is responsible for most if not all of the
excess health risks seen in people with larger bodies such as high rates of chronic diseases,
heart disease or diabetes.
Diet culture disguised as wellness culture.
‘Wellness’ is just another way of teaching and attempting people to control their body with
demands on how to eat healthy, prioritize exercising and control weight for ‘aesthetics’ instead
of living with peace and being fine with the body you’re in.
Messages from diet culture are all around us: from the products we buy, food we label as
‘clean’ or ‘junk’, the ‘wellness diets’ that detoxes, cleanses, carb restricts… Diet culture thrives
to shame and oppress people who don’t match its image of health. The consequence is the
massive amount of time, energy, and money spent trying to shrink our bodies. Diet culture
WORSHIPS thinness, as if thin bodies automatically equate to better health and higher power
status. The "bikini body" in particular is an oppressive concept that seeks to squeeze women
into a specific mold.
95% of diets fail us.
Yup, you heard that right: diets have a 95% fail rate (some say it’s close to 98%). Research
follow-ups of ‘successful’ diet participants (those who lost weight significantly for a specific
program or product) are only up to a year after their diet program is complete. What is not
reported is that approximately two-thirds of people who lose weight will regain it within 1 year,
and almost all of them will regain it within 5 years. While weight loss could trigger positive
(short-term) outcomes, it is usually followed by weight regain.
Diet culture has engulfed quite a large chunk of my teenage life and mental wellbeing. Growing
up, most if not all of my friends around me were in some form of a diet or complained about
their body shape or size. Self-sabotaging language around why our bodies are not thin enough,
pretty enough, explaining why they aren’t ready for Summer echoed through the media, family,
friends, school or work—it seems so hard to find self-compassion in this mess.
False Self versus the True Self
The “Self” is not the only physical part! Why do we often neglect the intellectual, emotional and
spiritual parts of the “Self”? All these parts are equally as important in understanding self image.
The false self is like a shell, attempting to be molded into or shaped to achieve world ‘ideals’.
This never-ending criticism of the false mind sees the body as an implication that we are not
good enough, not thin enough, not perfect enough, not pretty enough…The false mind ignores
feedback from the body, avoids awareness of emotions, and imposes harmful behaviours
which could create social isolation, disordered eating, or body dysmorphia. Are you connecting
to this false self by shaming how you look and hurting your self?
You may be currently seeking for external validation, and that’s okay. This is only the very
beginning to getting closer to who you really are! External validations are opinions towards our
self-image and our self-worth, but they do not define the true self.
So what is the true self? Well, the true self is looking within to determine who you really are.
Instead of being outer directed of “who should I be?”, the true self looks to find the hidden self
from your heart and soul where one’s true identity lies. To interact with the world, the true self is
inner guided from the soul (where intuition lies), to the heart (where passion lies), to the mind
(where intention lies) and goes outwards to the body (where action lies). Below are some topics
for you to look into so that you can start practicing intuitive living and connect with your true
Get to know the differences between self-esteem & self-compassion
Kristen Neffs’ definition of self-esteem is that it is a global evaluation of one’s self-worth. For
the longest time, psychological research has been putting ‘self-esteem’ as the main marker of
psychological health where low self-esteem was linked with higher levels of anxiety, higher risk
of depression, and other psychological concerns. The biggest obstacle to self-esteem is self-criticism.
“Self-compassion involves being touched by and open to one’s own suffering, not avoiding, or
disconnecting from it, generating the desire to alleviate one’s suffering and to heal oneself with
kindness.”—Ann Saffi Biasetti in Befriending Your Body
Instead of reacting to that destructive inner-critic voice that compares yourself to others or
evaluating what you do at every step, start challenging it by practicing self-compassion. The 3
key components of self-compassion are self-kindness, common humanity (how am I the same
as others instead of how am I different from others) and mindfulness.
Self-compassion acts as a buffer between difficult emotions and behaviours, helping you
acknowledge and accept the pain. The practice of self-compassion actually allows you to
move closer towards your suffering rather than away from it. Acknowledge how you are feeling,
and take note of your struggles. Respond in a caring manner towards suffering. Don’t forget
that imperfection and suffering are human experiences that all human beings connect with! You
are not alone in this suffering.
Facing your pain, suffering, and what you are truly feeling in your current state is actually a very self-compassionate action!
Notice how you talk to yourself. Remember: you don’t have to be in a diet to be caught up in
the culture of diet. Notice your own language and how you think of your body. Dismantle and
challenge the way you speak about your body and see if you could talk to your body as you
would to a good friend. Treat yourself the way you treat others! You’re allowed to be
compassionate to yourself. You are allowed to embrace body diversity and move away from
Reaching inwards for self-acceptance
Self-acceptance is unconditional positive regard as would the view of your therapist or a good
friend have towards you. It’s the journey to accepting your imperfections, and start embracing
what makes you human.
Here is a mindfulness activity you can practice to invite in more kindness and acknowledge
your pain: (adapted meditation from Ann Saffi Biasetti)
Come up with 3 phrases that you can remind yourself like a mantra to offer support to yourself
each day. At this point, you don’t have to believe them: you are attempting to comfort your
mind and your nervous system. You are learning and building the ground for self-compassion
1. Close your eyes and imagine someone you love, or a good friend who is suffering in some
way. It can be the same thing you are dealing with or something different. Imagine this
friend by calling the image into your mind.
2. Imagine your friend asking you for help, support and advice. Notice what their suffering
feels like in your body, paying attention to the emotions that are coming up for you as you
image what they are enduring.
3. What are 3 things you would say to him or her right now?
Open your eyes and write these 3 statements down. You will work with these words daily,
especially when you are waking up and going to bed, since it is important to begin and end
your day with helpful thoughts. Learning to be a friend to yourself is the first step in the
continued development of a self-compassionate recovery.
What intuitive eating is about
Another big component towards living more intuitively is your relationship with food. What was
your relationship with food growing up? What is your current relationship with food?
If you are on a diet or have been on diets, you probably know what it is like to restrict.
Restricting or disconnecting from hunger makes us think more about food, which leads to
binging. Intuitive eating is a concept that is all about slowing down from your normal routine
and checking in with yourself. You can start incorporating small but consistent check-ins
throughout the day to practice mindfulness
Let your creativity connect to your intuition!
Intuitive drawings are courageous marks of one’s inner voice. A valuable lesson I have learned
as an art therapist is to trust in myself, to create a reflection of what I feel and what I’m thinking
about in the moment. Learning to step aside my critical mind and invite in my beginner’s mind.
This is my intuitive drawing I drew after a short mindfulness exercise. While drawing this art
piece, I was thinking of what a visualization of ‘inspiration’ would look like to me. I often get
inspired by things I see in nature, in space (especially!), people who do art on the gram and this
is a fused representation of all of that! I would like to invite you to close your eyes for a minute,
take a few deep breaths and begin to visualize where you get your inspiration. Once you are
ready, come back into the room and create your intuitive drawing from what you have
How you can rebel against diet culture to live intuitively, free from disordered eating, fat
phobia, and body politics:
• listen to your intuition around food: try to eat when you’re hungry to make peace with food
• setting intentions along the path and journey you’re on: from anxiety around food, self-care in
a holistic multi-factorial way instead of just looking at body and weight.
• social media detoxing
• listen to podcast: Food Psych by Christy Harrison
So how do you see yourself? How would you like to invite in more compassion to help you
start accepting all of you?
TLDR:The quick answer is: live intuitively and practice self-compassion. Search up and learn more
about the Health At Every Size Movement, find out how to be more compassionate with your
body, and find freedom with your body.
Body Positive Intuitive Arts Workshop
I am facilitating a workshop this Summer at Art For Change. If you ever struggled with your
self-worth, your relationship with food or body image, accessing your inner voice may be
difficult from the years of stored information from society’s opinions on self-image and identity.
If you are hoping to invite in more self-compassion, learn strategies to connect with your inner
wisdom, and inner artist, this workshop is for you.
Further Info, Readings and Podcasts about this topic:
• Kristen Neff explains Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?
• Read 10 principles of intuitive eating by Evelyn Tribole: https://www.intuitiveeating.org/10-
• Befriending Your Body by Ann Saffi Biasetti PhD, LCSW
• Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight by Linda Bacon
• Food Psych with Christy Harrison
Photo by Praveen Gupta on Unsplash
Photo by Charis Gegelman on Unsplash
Photo by Billie on Unsplash
Photo by Zach Vessels on Unsplash
Photo by T. Chick McClure on Unsplash
Photos by Linda Lin - food, book, and art